A bite of self-reflection

I enjoyed solo-travelling, when it just a short distance like Jakarta-Bandung vice versa or slightly farther, especially using train. Well, Jakarta-Bandung is already like my monthly routine, but I also like it when I have to do some business trip to another province using airplane, mostly alone and I always ask for seat beside the window when I check-in. I love the time when I can dozed off beside the window of train or airplane, looking outside, enjoying the scenery. So, enjoyable me-time that hardly you got when you enter eight-to-five-working-and-staying-all-day-at-office life. I even purposely ask for L**n Airline for my flight to the purchasing officer when I know that the flight will have 99.99% possibility of delay, so that I can have enough time to catch up on my book. Kind of silly, but I really cherish those time, I really need that.

Well, that's not my point actually. As I said, I enjoy sitting beside the window, particularly observing people throughout the journey. What interest me the most is when I see the officers watching the train or airplane take off. Every time a train passing a station, there always will be an officer or two (usually the head of station and the security) that stands by and observe the whole train, and I will watch them instead. I don't know why every station do that, but I think the purpose is to check the train operation, whether the train is running smoothly or they came in time and maybe they will have to report every train that pass through their station. Quite a work :") I mean, how many train will pas in a day and they have to go out every time, checking those trains. My latest trip to Bandung was yesterday and I find myself looking at them again and again every time my train passing a station. And suddenly I feel a little bit emotional, because I realized how my trip is supported by many people, even they are someone i don't know. It was just simple as a train that going on a long rail to reach the destination, but how many people are there to make it happen, in a single simple trip as Jakarta-Bandung train.
It also happen when I take a flight. Every time a airplane will take off, there will be a bunch of people outside, near the take off route, waving at the airplane as if they are letting go the airplane and wishing for their safety during the flight. It was pretty touching because I realized to make one flight happen, there are so many people behind the scene supporting it. Not only the pilot and the flight attendants, but there are also the technicians, the porters, the security officers, the drivers, and so on which I can't mention them all. So I was very touched by everybody's effort to make something happen and how they are so proud of doing it every day, every time.

It was quite a life reflection to me, I am a big dreamer but I also kind of doubting myself a lot. And I failed a lot so there are many times when I want to stop dreaming, quit striving for it. My willpower also needs refreshment, and I have to remind myself over and over again about what I want to do in my life. I often feel fear of not reaching where I want to go, my goals which I once define in detail but it looks so blurry now till I don't know where to look for.
Then, looking at the people in the station and airport, makes me feel warm and assuring a bit. I feel like whenever I feel losing of purpose, one thing will stay true that I have to be someone who gives meaning to other people, be kind. In the end, it is all about kindness and what you can give to life. I really want to become one of those, who stay true to myself, whatever things happen in my life, I hope I won't miss the big goal.

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